I could become one. Ordinarily, I might have a fruity drink, with a dash of liquor, maybe twice a year. No buzz, just a pretense of being grown-up when I’m out with friends. But lately…this job has me salivating for something stronger whenever I go out. I mean I want the real stuff – no chaser. Ok, it’s not that bad. I don’t like being inebriated. I drank too much on a couple of occasions in my early twenties. I don’t care for the stuffed head or the uncoordinated body movements. Still, it just feels like I need something to dull my heightened frustration after a day at that grist-mill they call a place of education.
I came home Thursday evening and crashed on my couch around 6:30 pm. I didn’t wake up until 10:30pm. I felt refreshed, but I knew I was in for trouble for the rest of the night, so I stayed up, hoping to get sleepy. I finally got sleepy around 2:30 in the morning. I ended up sleeping an hour past my usual wake-up time. Fortunately, getting ready for work is a fairly quick proposition, and I only have a 12 minute drive. Still, I like having that extra cushion to loll around and move slowly through my morning. I arrived at school on time, but frazzled, and I stayed frazzled most of the day.
My week was not helped by the fact that I had to attend a seven hour class on the previous Saturday, or that I spent another seven hours grading papers on Sunday. I’ve been exhausted all week. Trying to decompress has been futile. I lost track of myself. I was calling ‘me’ and ‘me’ didn’t answer. I don’t know who the heck showed up at work this past week, but it wasn’t me, myself, and I. “We” got lost somewhere in the fog.
Thank goodness it was Friday. (Man, sometimes I hate living for Fridays.) I joined a fellow worker and friend for dinner and a BEER. I don’t drink beer. Well, I’d never, ever bought a beer before because I never cared for the stuff. I bought beer because the restaurant didn’t have a license to sell the stronger stuff, and I was really wanting the stronger stuff – maybe a screwdriver, or heck, a Long Island Iced Tea. I wanted to be numb. So did my co-worker/friend. We settled for what we could get and then proceeded to gorge ourselves at the Chinese buffet. We spent the rest of the evening recounting our horrid week, the seemingly unteachable kids, and the demanding load. It’s a kind of therapy, although I really hate kvetching the same thing each and every week. *sigh* What a life.
