I’ve got to make a serious decision in the upcoming weeks. Do I, or do I NOT, return to the classroom? Just thinking about returning makes my teeth itch. {{{{shiver}}}} I have to make a living to pay bills, and there are no other jobs on the horizon. If I don’t make a living to pay my bills, I’ll be panhandling at my local Internet cafe so I can get on to blog. The rock is the what my back is up against, and the crazy place is what to do about my future.
To eat, or not to eat, that is the question, and something I’ve grown quite addicted to doing (worse than crack). But back to my dilemna. When I mention to friends, family, and foes, that I don’t plan/want to return to the classroom, I get: but it’s a job. Better to have a bird in the hand… Who in the heck wants a bird in their hand? Not me. Anyway, enough at attempting to be humorous; this is serious.
I could probably make it until fall without a paycheck. Wishful thinking has me imagining the economy will be back on its feet again. I mean, hasn’t the stock market stabilized? Aren’t houses beginning to sell again? Well, maybe not in California or Florida, but aren’t houses moving around the rest of the country? They say those are benchmarks to watch. I’ve been unemployed before. It wasn’t pretty. Maybe that’s what my friends, family, and foes (I’ll call’em FFF from now on) are concerned about – that I’ll be staring at them, pointing to my empty mouth and then pointing at their food. Hmmm. (They’re looking out for my well-being. They don’t want me to be a beggar).
I have this idea of a business to launch. I’ve only told a couple of people about it. I think it’s a solid idea – not a new idea, but a good one with a world-wide market, so there’s lots of room for another one. The thing is, that with starting a business, I have no idea if it will succeed. Will it flourish so that I can put all my FFFs’ minds at ease? Will it allow me to pay my bills? And how soon could I start writing out those darling little checks? Will it flop and I’ll end up poorer than today? Am I nervous? Heck yeah! However, I believe once I take the first step, the universe will reveal the rest of the way. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
What’s worse? Going crazy on the job, or crazy off-the-job? Going crazy on the job –in the classroom is a real possibility. For example — and before you yell obscenities after reading the following, know that I know, this is not the way for a person to be. Anyway…I was parking in the lot at school one day, and I saw one of the biggest troublemakers riding his skateboard in the street. For a fleeting second, I had this thought that if a car were to suddenly come along and tap him, he might be out of commission for a couple of weeks, and I could have a less rowdy class. Settle down, I said ‘tap.’ I was just thinking a few scuffs and pings…no broken bones or anything. See, that’s no way for someone responsible for kids to think. And then, just this past week, the board announced that ‘teachers’ were going to have to assume more disciplinary responsibilities this upcoming school year.
I DID NOT APPLY TO BE A WARDEN.
I did not care for the reality I had to live this past year, so I figured I need to create a new one. I just don’t want the new one to become a crazy place to be.
